twenty-
four
This was the year I learned that I could have all the things I want if I stop letting a fear of rejection run my business for me.
I've spent a good chunk of my life letting myself be entirely defined by whatever version of my art resonated best with the person looking at it. Somehow I felt like never showing my hand and my work in the same spaces meant that no one could reject what I was offering.
I liked that I could tell myself they "didn't dislike it, they just didn't understand ".
And it was true, they didn't, which hindered me a lot more than helped because while I claimed to be letting my art speak for itself, what I was really doing was keeping myself as far from desertion as possible. More than that, I was keeping myself just as far from my biggest opportunities. Meanwhile, all I really wanted was to be deeply understood, seen, loved. TRUSTED.
This was the year I learned about real success.
How lucky are we to experience the feeling of being scared when starting something new, the incredible potential of something so valuable becoming malleable in the palm of your hands. I have been on the cusp of something so good for months now and all I needed to do was let you in.
The most formative piece of advice I received this year came from a photography class about reminding your clients what makes you different. I played the first half in 1.5x speed with instagram in another tab until one thing struck me and challenged my entire pursuit to a path filled with purpose. People can copy your words, they can even copy your style, but what they can't copy is YOU. Instantly I was hyper aware of how I had been discrediting years of my own hard work by simply avoiding opening up to you in order to save myself from being "cringy" or "too much".
I have always wanted to have long lasting relationships with every single person who ever spends time making art with me. But in response to that wish I let my introverted tendencies convince me that I would be bothering my cool fun clients if I didn't dip after delivering the gallery. Stupid right?? I know. I've been spending my time terrified to put myself out there like I might unintentionally make my incessant obsessions with overpriced coffee, cheap plane tickets to anywhere and a deep rooted fear of not visiting every national park before I die, the pieces of me that would scare you away from inviting me to document your best moments. The friendships I've been missing out on with those of you who shared all the same loves is a much greater loss. Lately I've been letting my clients see me, and I've been making it a point to let them know when I see them.
So welcome to my thoughts.
This is the year I don't hold back.
I've been transitioning to a style that lets me document the deepest emotions of the people in front of my lens with more care than cool and perfect posing for my portfolio. This stage of my business feels more magical and fulfilling than it ever has before.
I have spent a year now telling stories instead of taking photos. Yours is a story worth telling, and if I don't explain that I have glitter pens in my arsenal, you'll never see past the bic I spent the past few years writing all over the internet with. I'm not for everyone. But my people are going to be soooo glad to find me, just as happy as I'll be.
